Experiences with lows in life

Helpless Kid who is crying alone in a corner. *Image Courtesy — Google

Hi Medium Viewers/Followers,

Here, I would be sharing some of my experiences of low points in my life and how I tackled them and proceeded ahead in life.

As a kid, I was bullied a lot. Till 5th grade things were pretty much sorted in my life. Good Acads (got an academic award), good physique etc. (I feel that if you’re good at acads you are almost sorted in all aspects of life). From 6th grade onwards, my grades started dipping. This is where all the problems started in life. Parents started bullying (read beating/insulting). My grades were going down because of the change of my school. I started badminton coaching classes in 6th.

Then I was transferred to another location. (Somewhere in TN). 7th grade began. I was extremely naive. I didn't know how to talk/behave. Basically no filter. Oh Man, I was completely lost and directionless. Bad Grades, No social respect, a lot of bullying. Friends, Teachers, Parents, Friends of Parents— all started teasing me. A lot of this made be a silent person. The only thing that I was good at was at playing Badminton. There was this person named R*th. He ruined my career. He tarnished my reputation. He made me feel like shit. I started believing that I am not that smart and I am a nobody. (I was having this feeling till the time I entered VIT). I still am raging. Given a chance, I would show him how rich/happy I am now. (He did get his share of Karma back where he was given a punishment transfer after he bullied a doctor’s son in our township). The lowest point in my life was during GATE results (I performed very badly), the Job Hunt Phase and when I was infected by Tuberculosis. I missed death by a very small margin.

Bullying did not stop in school. It was still present in College (Under-grad & Post-Grad (during internship)) & even in corporate life. I guess it is inevitable. I guess it would always be there. The funny part is that those guys who bullied didn't do well in their lives either. I don’t know where do they get their attitude from.

As Mr. Asim Qureshi rightly says “Anybody who is wanting to over-achieve or has overachieved had one one such instance happened to him in the past.” It’s always about avenging or giving a comeback or proving people wrong.

I had 3 crushes in life till date. One in school, one in college (Post Grad) and one during the corporate career. Obviously all the three lead to heart-breaks.

Now for the good part. How I overcame all these mishaps?

1. By watching a lot of TV shows.
2. By cutting out all the negative people from my friends-list.
3. By reading a lot of books. (You can find the books I read on my Quora Profile).
4. By watching a lot of Gaming streams (Tanmay Bhat, Carry Minati, Gunshot, Ankkita C, Scout, Gareebooo etc). This helped me a lot. Like for real. It did get me out of depression.
5. By following Shwetabh Gangwar’s, Aman Dattarwal’s & Kalpit Veerwal’s Youtube Channel.
6. By speaking to very selective people who supported me no matter what.

I know that I have performed decently in life. But, I am not going to be complacent. I learnt things the hard way. Nothing worth having comes easy. You ought give time and efforts with consistency. I also know that I have done a lot of good karma in life. One of my mentors told me that it will definitely come back in ways that no one can imagine.

Comments → I was not good with drawing.

Comeback → I significantly improved my drawing skills and I have become quite good at it. (Check out my behance profile)

Comments → I spoiled people’s photographs by oddly editing them.

Comeback → I have improved my design skills to a large extent and even received intern offers from good design startups (The Minimalist) and I did prepare a pitch video for one of the startups that we launched while at VIT.

Comments → I was not even knowing the basic syntaxes of programming. (I did not pass the test by IISc prof’s for internships)

Comeback → Cracked Research Intern at IIT-Madras (One of the most complex problems (writing STA Engine in CPP)).

Comments → I was not good at Math.

Comeback → Got straight A’s in VIT in Math and related subjects.

Comments → Was body slammed/body shamed.

Comeback → Reduced my weight by 5Kg’s under a month.

Comments → I was not got at my work (VLSI stuff)

Comeback → Cracked Physical Design Job at one of the best companies.

Comments → I was not good in English.

Comeback → Published articles on careerhigh.in, Quora and Medium left, right and centre.

There’s an anecdote →

We react aggressively to negative comments than to positive comments. There would be tons of people praising your work but that one person who criticised/teased you. You never forget him/her. We tend to believe that negative thing that some random XYZ commented on us and your subconscious mind programs itself that you’re not capable/good and the amount of self-hate increases exponentially. It’s super hard to break this belief that has been formed over years. There’s additional burden when your parents are not very supportive.

I could give you a lot of other examples of people whom I follow who were bullied during their childhood and gave a solid comeback. For eg.

— Lost Stories

— Samay Raina

— Vidya Vox

— Tanmay Bhat

— Prashasti Singh

Amidst all these bullying, there were some people who were always on my side. For eg. Meenakshi Ma’am, Thankachan Sir, Rajiv Sir, Ashok, Chirag, Akshay, Sibi Kabilan, Reena Monica Ma’am, RaviSankar Sir, Prastut, Sannidhya, Amey, Souryendu, Prateek, Sneha etc.

I wanted to ease things a little and let things out of my head and hence this article.

-Sethupathi Balakrishnan

Sethupathi Balakrishnan on Behance

Sethupathi Balakrishnan (सेतुपति बालकृष्णन)